


Love We Desire

by noeone



Category: Golden Child (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:01:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21656437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noeone/pseuds/noeone
Summary: They said, sacrificing was inevitable in life.They said, as a prince, sacrificing for the kingdom was something he must do. It was absolute. It was his purpose in life.
Relationships: Choi Sungyoon | Y/Lee Daeyeol
Kudos: 21





	Love We Desire

**Author's Note:**

> Actually, this story was sitting in my draft since forever but well, after watching Golcha in hanbok suddenly I have an urge to finish it.   
> I have a hard time to write smut soo... forgive me... hehe.  
> hope you enjoy it!

**_Why can't we have everything?_ **

**_Why can’t we love whoever we want?_ **

*******

When he was young, Daeyeol never imagined that loving someone could be this hard. He often thought a beautiful love story always ended with a happy ending. He always had this dream that he would stand in front of the crowd, waiting for his beloved one to approach him in some sacred ritual called wedding then he would say the vow, recited it slowly, full of emotion while staring at his bride lovingly. 

The thing he’d never expected was that he would never be able to do it, not now, not later. 

He would never be able to do it because he loved Choi Sungyoon. 

***

Life was a matter of choice, but for Daeyeol, freedom of choice didn’t exist within the walls of the palace. Well, there was no freedom at all.

Living as the prince inside the palace wasn’t that nice. People might envy his life, might want to be him. For someone who had only ever seen the palace from a distance, they'll only saw the beauty in it. The luxurious building really looked fascinating. The thick and tall stone walls that surrounded the palace piqued everyone's curiosity. People always dreamed to have a chance to step inside, wanted to witness how grand and powerful the place was.

But truthfully, it was a glorious dungeon, a golden cage.

The grandness couldn't lift up his mood. The palace was indeed beautiful but cold, made the place like an empty ocean of unbearable loneliness. It's more like a jail, suffocating.

Daeyeol seemed to have it all. He lacked nothing since he was born. Servants were lining up to serve him dutifully. He had the best tutor the kingdom had to offer. He got a big amount of love from his busy parents who still took some time out of their day to spend it with him. His brother was also treating him quite nicely. No one would dare to disobey him, everyone respected him. He had a bunch of close friends too. He could say that he was a lucky guy, he basically had money, fame, and status in his grasp.

He never in line for the throne, it was his brother’s duty. As long as his brother existed in this world, he would never be the king. He wasn’t greedy for the position, so he didn’t put much thought about it. Despite his life was looking so perfect, that didn’t mean he was free from any responsibilities. He still trapped to live up to high expectations set by people around him. 

Daeyeol wanted to scream when his father patted his back, giving him a clear signal that he couldn't reject the demand. 

He didn't want it. 

He wanted to fight his father then ran away from here. He wanted to yell at his father who imposed his will on him. But the dejected expression on his father's face slapped him to the ground. He had no room for argument.

He looked at his mother, pleading with his eyes, asking the woman to soften his father so he wouldn't need to accomplish this order.

He turned his eyes to his older brother, asking for help although he knew his brother couldn't do anything. They shared the same fate, the same destiny.

“Father…”

“I know son, I know.” the king exhaled a deep breath, hand resting on Daeyeol’s shoulder. “but I do it for your own good”

Daeyeol barely held himself from rolling his eyes.

“Father! Please, I don't want to!” Daeyeol frowned.

“Son, please understand.”

“Father…” Daeyeol struggled to keep his tears from falling as his father pulled him into a very tight hug. He could hear his father’s heartbeat, too fast, too deafening. “I have a mate, I love him, please, don’t make me hate you”

But again, freedom of choice never existed for him.

***

They said, sacrificing was inevitable in life.

They said, as a prince, sacrificing for the kingdom was something he must do. It was absolute. It was his purpose in life.

Daeyeol acknowledged that, as he was a part of the royal family, everything was inevitable. The kingdom came first, his feelings never mattered. He didn’t have a choice if the kingdom’s future was in line. 

Daeyeol rubbed his temples, shut his eyes closed while trying hard to control his enraged breathes. He leaned his back against the bark of the willow tree. The spring breezes grazing over his skin, playing with his hair. The weather was somewhat nice, a bright full moon was hanging in the sky, accompanied by the twinkling stars. 

He was tired. 

Daeyeol was getting fucking tired of everything.

“Say, Hyungnim” a voice startled Daeyeol to death. “Why do you look so grumpy when tomorrow is your wedding day?”

Daeyeol turned his head to the voice. A magnificent sight greeted Daeyeol as the translucent rays by the moonlight bathed the guy who was standing right under the willow tree near his room. The body was glistening underneath the moonlight. The hairs were dancing along with the winds, every strand swaying harmonically with the air. A peaceful expression adorned on his face as he smiled gently. 

His skin as white as snow, hair as dark as the gloomy night sky without stars and lips redder than the ripe apple. If angels truly existed, Daeyeol believed the man standing in front of him would be the one.

“Sungyoon” a soft whisper escaped from Daeyeol’s mouth.

Daeyeol bit his bottom lip.

Seeing Sungyoon now made his heart ached and delighted at the same time. 

“Hyungnim”

Daeyeol blinked. He didn’t know he was staring intently. The guy was giving him an intense, penetrating gaze but Daeyeol didn't move from his position. He didn’t know that those eyes could captivate him. Daeyeol couldn’t stop watching, he was hypnotized by that beautiful orbs.

He pressed into Sungyoon, their faces only inches apart. Eyes traveled to Sungyoon’s lips. He wondered if someone might have drained thousands of roses and dripped the color all into the younger’s lips. Truthfully, Daeyeol wanted to stop time, he wanted to have all the time in the world to be with Sungyoon. He wanted to see Sungyoon for a long, long time.

"It's been a long time since we last met. Finally, your father let you leave the palace?" Asked Daeyeol, trying to forget about the emotional turmoil that goes on inside his heart and mind. 

"I insist, kinda threatening him." Sungyoon rolled his eyes, couldn't hide the bitterness. “I won’t miss your wedding day”

“I’m sorry” Daeyeol mumbled under his breath. 

Sungyoon tensed. His expression turned solemn, he buried his face to Daeyeol's neck, searching for comfort.  Daeyeol’s hand quickly reached out to grab the guy's waist and pulled him into his embrace. 

Daeyeol sighed in exasperation, clenching his fists while trying to suppress his tears. His heart was aching, so bad. It was bleeding. 

Everything hurts.

“We knew this was coming” Sungyoon’s voice wavered. “We knew they would want you to get married to another royalty. We knew since a long time ago they would never let us together.”

“I’m sorry” Daeyeol felt a thousand arrows just attacking his heart. He hated to see Sungyoon sad. “I love you, Sungyoon. I’m still madly in love with you”

“I know, hyungnim. I know” Sungyoon sighed loudly in defeat. “But she gets to call you hers. She will be the one who stands beside you, will be the one who holds you close”

Daeyeol tightened his hug, feeling the smaller bunny trembled beneath him.

“I’m sorry”

Sungyoon sobbed.

Daeyeol bit his lip, burying his face in the younger’s hair. His body was shaking. 

“I only want to be with you, Sungyoon. I only love you”

“But it isn’t about love, hyungnim” Sungyoon lifted up his head, tears were wetting both of his cheeks. “It’s about responsibility, about tradition”

“Sungyoon…”

“You will get married to her tomorrow.”

“I hate my life”

Sungyoon chuckled, smiling slightly though the smile never reached his eyes.

“And later I will follow your step, marry someone my parents set me up with.”

Daeyeol cupped Sungyoon’s face, wiping the tears away. Seeing his beloved one crying hurt him even more, cutting even deeper wound than any pain he had ever felt before.

They both knew the fate never kind to them, to their love, to their relationship. They realized that their lives had been made of these, of the responsibility to their kingdom, to their people. They dedicated their lives, souls and minds to serve.

They both understand their destiny, about their duty, about their purpose in living. But everything was forgotten the time they fell in love with each other. The relationship bloomed without their knowledge but none of them regret it. They were happy, for years they were happier together than they ever were alone.  They loved the atmosphere of affection that floated between them.

Ever since he was a child, Daeyeol had dreamt of having a relationship with Sungyoon. Daeyeol couldn’t remember a time in his life where he hadn’t been in love with Sungyoon. They were close. Too close. 

Their kingdoms were having a good relationship, one thing Daeyeol always grateful of. Thus, he and Sungyoon could meet each other as they please.

The younger was beautiful, too beautiful to be true. He was stunning, inside and out. So strong but kind, so firm but hold an innocence. Sungyoon was the epitome of perfectness. And Daeyeol was madly in love with the younger.

Then reality slapped him hard by telling that he needed to sacrifice his happiness in order to please his people. The duty called. His father arranged a marriage for him. He was being forced on a woman he has never met before. A marriage arrangement that solely just to appease the public and continuing the bloodline.

“I want to be with you”

Daeyeol felt all the air escaped his lungs. He kissed Sungyoon’s cheek while mumbling the words. His lips quivered with sadness.

“I only want you”

Sungyoon choked a sob, barely manage to talk. The feeling was suffocated him so much he became afraid to speak, he didn’t want to possibly cry his heart out loud.

“Tonight… just tonight, let me love you fully.”

****

Daeyeol knew this was a bad idea, a horrible one if he could add. Playing around a night before his wedding with his angel was probably the worst decision he’d ever made. It could lead them into trouble. They were playing with fire. 

He knew it.

He knew he committed a sin.

Yet, he could feel the excitement bubbling in his chest, he could feel his heart bloomed so much as if it’s ready to explode.

The room was filled with silence once the door was closed abruptly by Daeyeol. The room was empty and dark, the moonlight was the sole source of the light. Sungyoon looked so ethereal standing in the middle of the room, in his silk blue clothes with gold ornament. His beautiful face was in perfect display despite the trace of tears adorning his cheeks.

Daeyeol moved closer, reached out and put his hands on Sungyoon’s cheeks. He leaned forward, bringing his forehead to the younger’s. Eyes keep locked without a blink as if he was afraid Sungyoon would vanish. 

“Daeyeol hyungnim” his name came out as a whispery sigh, right beside his ear. Sungyoon slid his lips over the elder 

Daeyeol released a guttural groan when soft moist lips meeting with his chapped one. It was so soft, amazingly tender. He closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling he missed so much, of Sungyoon’s feverish touch, of Sungyoon’s pillowy lips. Daeyeol nibbled the plump lips, sucking at the younger’s bottom lip, tugging it between his teeth. He deepened the kiss when a small moan escaped from Sungyoon’s.  They drowned themselves in the sweet sensation, tongues tangled with each other. 

Daeyeol pulled back, allowing both of them catching some breath but Sungyoon was following him, desperate to keep their mouth intact.

“Hyung” The smaller guy whined in displeasure as his Daeyeol reverted from the kiss. “I want you, please”

“I want you too, Sungyoon” He glided the pad of his thumb along the younger’s lip, brushing the trail of saliva. “Allow me, hm?”

A second later Daeyeol was working clumsily to remove Sungyoon’s robe, undoing every piece of clothing while maintaining steady eye contact. Sungyoon was squirming under Daeyeol’s mercy, moving his body eagerly, aching for any friction, aching for the burning touches. Sungyoon's body was warm against his.  The slide of skin against skin intoxicated them both. Sungyoon shivered as Daeyeol pressing his lips against the latter’s neck, nibbling the soft flesh.

“Hyungnim--” Sungyoon whined, feeling his arousal growing. He grabbed the elder’s hair, pulling it to meet with his half-lidded eyes.

Daeyeol couldn’t take it any longer. The hungry look in Sungyoon’s eyes was sending him into the edge.  Sungyoon gasped as his partner ran the fingers on his skin, traveling down to his legs, giving the burning feeling that he craved for more. He tossed his head back as Daeyeol kissing his inner thighs eagerly. 

And soon, Daeyeol was deep in his lover’s heat. Wrapped himself inside the paradise.

Sungyoon mewled as he felt a long penetrating thrust began to wreck him. Daeyeol’s hand roamed through his body, hand swarmed around his chest, sending an electric jolt to his entire system.  Each touch sent tingling sensation to his spines as if the elder knew how to drive him to the brink of madness. 

Daeyeol groaned.

A beating of heartbeat underneath him was deafening.  His heart raced, pounding almost out of his chest in the same rhythm with Sungyoon. The gentle touch from the younger did nothing to ease the jumble of nerves, it actually made everything worse. He could feel his stomach churned, flip-flopping violently. But at the same time, he loved the sensation. He loved the thrill. 

He thrust forward so hard it made Sungyoon’s writhing on the bed, his face half-buried in the sheets. He rocked his hips, pushing and pulling out while locking his eyes straight to his lover. Sungyoon being pliant was hot, hotter than the sun.

Daeyeol took a moment to drink in the sight of his lover, capturing every expression, memorizing every detail before he lost the chance. He can smell Sungyoon, can smell the arousal emitting from the younger.  He found himself drowned to the eyes, to the beautiful orbs of Sungyoon. 

“Hyungnim” 

Daeyeol could see the need in the younger’s eyes, could see the desperation in his gesture. He saw Sungyoon’s eyes glistening with unshed tears. 

“I love you” Sungyoon sniffled, tears began to stream down again. “Please be mine, please never leave me alone”

Daeyeol wanted to punch himself. His heart ached almost numbed his whole body. He wanted to cry. He hated himself for hurting Sungyoon, for leaving the younger. In the past, he promised to never hurt Sungyoon’s feeling, never make his angel shed a tear, yet he was the one who broke all the promises. 

Daeyeol couldn’t make the words came out past his lips, a pool of tears was forming in his eyes too. It took all Daeyeol’s willpower to not cry, wailing in agony.

For God’s sake, he wanted to declare his love to the world. 

His heart yearned for one thing but he knew it was impossible to do. 

“I’m yours.” Daeyeol placing a peck on Sungyoon’s flushed cheek, reassuring the younger. “Let’s enjoy this moment together, Sungyoon. Tonight, I’m yours, only yours”

“Hyungnim!” Sungyoon shouted. He was whimpering and spreading himself wider as Daeyeol pounded into him. He breathed out the words “I love you” like a prayer. 

“I love you too, my angel”

He leaned closer to seal their lips into a chaste kiss.

Tonight, I’m yours.

Truly yours.

*****

The ceremony had begun.

The wedding ceremony between Daeyeol and his betrothed had begun. 

In the center of the hall, Daeyeol who was standing handsomely in his wedding robe, gorgeous in the piece of clothes with golden ornaments neatly decorating it. He looks magnificent. Beside him was the woman who will be Daeyeol's partner for the rest of his life.

The bride was beautiful, lovely even. The King picked the suitor for his son pretty well. Though Sungyoon knew, the suitor selection was a bit rough. Parents judged potential suitors by reputation, status, an accomplishment even their fertility.

Love didn't matter. 

Love wasn't something meant for royalty like them. All they needed were heirs to continue their legacies. 

Sungyoon studied the way Daeyeol's expression changed as the King giving the speech regarding his marriage. The look was painful. 

He sighed.

If Sungyoon could, he would just ruin the wedding this instant. He'd take Daeyeol's hand and run away with the man to the faraway land, to the place people wouldn't recognize them, to the place where their love was accepted.

He sighed,

Again.

Ruined the wedding wasn't the best option, it caused more damage than not. It could ignite a war between him and Daeyeol's kingdom.

Sungyoon didn't need to verbalize his pain upon seeing the ceremony unfold, his tears spoke for himself. He didn’t like for people to see him cry. He didn’t want to seem vulnerable. He was the prince, the great crown prince who will take the throne in a few years. Crying might be a natural thing, but Sungyoon didn't like to associate himself with the act. Yet he couldn't help when clear drops of water streaming down, wetting his face. 

Longing to be with someone who was unattainable was heart-wrenching, it was hard. Sungyoon realized how his heart will never stop beating for the elder. They ended their relationship, yes, but the throb still there. 

****

Daeyeol darted his eyes at his parents, then at his brother, then at his beloved angel. It pained him so much to see Sungyoon's crying but he couldn't do anything to stop the tears as he was the main reason behind it. 

God how he wished he could ditch his bride to hug Sungyoon close, how he wanted to shout at the crowds about his love for the guy.

Yet he couldn't.

Daeyeol's breath hitched when his gaze meeting with glassy orbs of Sungyoon. A pang of guilt twisted in his gut. He could see the younger tried his best to give him a smile, a congratulatory smile.

***

**_I’m sorry, I love you_ **

***


End file.
